blog post 5

Play.....
This was hard for me, but also somewhat easy. I often say my weekend is my "play time" because I am always out and about, camping, concert hopping, dive bar dancing, taking long drives through CT and finding local things to do. To me, these are considered play because I am having fun. However, over the weekend I decided to change it up and stay at home (I live alone so after a while, a quiet house gets so quiet and boring- therefore I leave! Often!). I asked my best high school friend (we aren't together as much as I am with my "this- phase of adulthood"- friends) to grab chinese food from our old hang out, and to come sit on my deck to listen to DMB- Dave Matthews Band- (my first and one true love) and hang with me for the night. We lit yankee candles, drank beer, played cards, pulled out our high school year books, and sat there all night laughing and reminiscing. Making fun of ourselves and having fun with ourselves. My version of "play" was different than some may consider it to be but it was needed. Life as an adult, as a human, or after a very hard week (this week was hard) needs a night like that. I never want to miss out on what everyone else is doing and I find myself forcing myself to go out often- just to be part of something. This night I was part of something still, and something that really helped me calm down.

Permission- I literally had to tell myself to relax, stay home, take a breather. It is ok to not go out, to "chase a moment" and to be constantly in the hustle and bustle of what everyone else is doing. I never want to mis out but this night included all of the fun I could imagine.

Process- This was out of my usual process. If I am home, I am usually just there to sleep, eat, shower. This night- I was there for me.

Passion- I still found myself doing everything I loved. My music, the food, the drinks, the games, the topic of conversation. Everything there was everything I need in my life and keep me happy.

Productivity- The day prior to this, I had attended a very difficult, unexpected funeral. The death anniversary of both my grandmother, whom I took care of and lived with my entire life and my boyfriend who unexpectedly passed away are both upon me within the next two weeks. This time of the year has always been difficult for me. I find it hard to get by however- this night literally lifted a heavy feeling off of my shoulders. I didn't think about any of those scenarios this night. It was actually amazing what laughter and conversation could do. It was awesome! It produced HAPPINESS (cool!).

Participation- There was a lot of back and forth conversation. This was not solo play, this was great conversation and socialization.

Pleasure- This was a really enjoyable time. I wasn't running around, I wasn't throwing a football, playing a game but I was having fun. I was able to let go of stressors and enjoy something.